I still rise, I will not apologize for anything!
I still rise, I will not apologize for anything!
I am trying to give him something good.
It is the melancholy of love separated but not lost that plagues him.
Cover Story: Why I Got Angry After New Hampshire- The White Curtain and the Possibility of Hope - The African World By Bill Fletcher, Jr., BC Executive Editor
Malcom X realized that being a Good N. was hurting the black movement and it was time that African Americans took their rightful place guaranteed in the US Constitution. He created a mind paradigm shift of white and black peoples thinking about the expectations of how black people "fit into" Americas culture. He visited Africa and told Americans of the progress of Africans compared to the progress of black Americans. He taught blacks to defend themselves and to bare arms to protect themselves and their families. He used the expression called,"any means necessary" which scared whites who did not want to relinquish white privilege.
Malcom X was criticised by his own community for not having a peaceful message like Martin Luther King(MLK). MLK would not have been effective without Malcolm X's messages of self defense. Whites were given a choice, the Civil Rights movement was going to turn into a racial war or submit to the Civil Rights movement. Yes, many white people did support the Civil Rights movement but blacks Civil Rights movement was not a popularity vote which required federal protective legislation. The federal legislation was backed up by he National Guard in the south who were forced to submit to the end of segregation. If civil rights were a popularity vote, the South would still have Jim Crow.
For those who do not know Jim Crow, they were laws that segregated blacks from whites in education, public facilities, buses, employment, etc. It was also was illegal for blacks to marry whites. Many free-thinkers will acknowledge that Oregon's' Measure 36 is an example of Jim Crow because it segregates marriage between nonheterosexuals and heterosexuals.
NAGQ does not know if Malcom X was for equal rights for queer people. What NAGQ does know is that Malcom X was always transforming himself in his politics and faith. His mind was not fixed and he allowed himself to grow and learn new ideas. He did not get a chance to fight for queers but NAGQ believes that one could substitute his reference to Afro Americans to Queer people today. What he is saying, is the message that the Queer community needs to change their strategy in achieving Gay Civil Rights because the strategy is obviously not working. The road of Gay Leaders needs to change and NAGQ would suggest targeting heterosexist rather than homophobic behavior which would cause institutional changes versus reacting to gay people.
Thank you Malcom X. I wish I could have met you. I honor you!
I will not apologize for anything!
Why I'm running to be Portland's mayor
Wednesday's Oregonian, January 09, 2008
Just because Not a good queer is gay, does not mean that I had to vote for Sam Adams. Sam Adams is an excellent city councilman but I like former teachers who are in politics because they have first hand experience about students!
I still rise, I do not apologize for anything!
Blessing given by the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire, at the end of services at All Saints Church Pasadena on Sunday, July 15, 2007.
The Reverend Gene Robinson is Not a Good Queer because he took his square in life, fought his opponents, and did not apologize for being nonheterosexual. He is also advocating for justice, anger, and for individuals to reach for the impossible.
Published in the Iowa State daily: June 17, 2007
All gays have coming out stories. They frequently say that they came out of the closet. I came out of a social construction that stated the only "normal" sexuality and the only "normal" gender is male or female. Therefore, I did not come out of the closet, I came out of heterosexism.
Their are those who will deny heterosexism does not exist, but they cannot deny the coming out stores of gay, lesbians, trans, bigendered, etc..
I will not apologize for anything!
Copyright December 2006 Not a Good Queer
(Of course inmates in the hole cannot work, but this line is for the other inmates that I met in the hole working for a couple of stamps).
NAGQ, Not a Good Queer, cut my wrists after 10 days of hazing and a sexual assault by guards. I was then put in this psych unit within the jail with no bed, mattress,blanket, pillow. I told them that inmates who are people could die of hypothermia versus suicide. Their were staff who helped me and recognized their hazing. Thank you nurse Francine for helping me get my dog back and thank you medical Lonnie Harner for saving my life. NAGQ went on a four day hunger strike in this unit, but Lonnie Harner told me to eat and that he would put me into another unit so I would not have to go back to the hole.
County Chairman Ted Wheeler and "Bernie" the man currently responsible for the Multnomah County Sheriff's Departments policies, do you condone torture?
Not a Good Queer, NAGQ, was put in a psych unit with no clothes, no pillow, no blanket, no mattress, and kept in a cell for 192 hours straight without being let out at all. I was fed imitation sandwich meat, an orange, a drink, three times a day. I was finally given my heart medication and anti-depressant after 10 days of being jailed. The guards were too busy watching football on television than to supervise me in eating a hot meal with a plastic fork. I did request a shower after three days of my menstrual cycle. This request was denied by the staff Sargent. The guards would not give me pads so I kicked out the door a dirty rag. Guardsmen Hammond called me a pig when Nurse Practitioner(NP) Lonnie Harner, came to my cell after four days, and laid out a plan to get me off of suicide watch and to go into another psych unit in the hole.. I went to another psych unit, and after I complained about the need of another blanket, I was put back into my original hole by Guardsmen Bloodsue. He told me in front of Nurse Francine that my dog, Rowdy, was dead. I did not respond to his "intentional abuse" until a group of visitors came to visit my hole in which I told them, "do not be fooled, these people are animals". I lossed a level for this behavior because one has to have good behavior to be fed.
Of course this move, kept me on level 4 after being in locked down for three weeks, I was Not a Good Queer. Eventually, I was brought back to the Pscyh Unit after NP Lonnie Harner kept advocating for me. My lawyer did not take collect calls, and even though he told me to stay in my apartment and negociated 15,000 to move without waving my right to sue for discrimination, he was nowhere to be found to defend me over my risk of staying in a hostile environment.
The article below describes the Portland Police who profiled me and now I am advocating for all prisoners of Multnomah County to have a bed to sleep on, no matter what unit.....
NAGQ was falsely arrested on November 12Th. After spending 10 days in the hole and being terrorized by deputies in jail, NAGQ cut his/her writs to get away form the heckling. The day before Thanksgiving NAGQ, wrote three grievances and gave them to deputies. One of the grievances were that only religious material could be read by prisoners on level five. I asked for nonreligious materials or religious materials that were queer friendly. That day, I was not fed nor given my fifteen minute walk. Other jail inmates heckled homophobia to me all day long but the guards said that I could not get my walk because I was fighting with other inmates about my sexuality. I then heckled Guardsmen Maxwell for not feeding me. He said, "that he was going to get his Tasser gun and Tasser me". NAGQ responded, "that he was fat all his life and the kids in the school yard must have really picked on him for him, which is why is was so mean".
He came back with a Staff Sargent. The Sargent came into my cell and he cited to me that I said fuck you to Guardsmen Maxwell which is why I was not going to be fed. Guardsmen Maxwell was outside my open cell door with a Tasser beam on me, pointing it into my cell. I asked why the Tasser was on and the Sargent told me that he was a small guy and he needed protection from me. I laughed at that excuse and felt the Tasser was just part of ongoing harassment. The Sargent left which left Maxwell alone with me to do whatever he wanted. Maxwell used the intercom in my cell and cited homophobic remarks and called me a "scanky hoe". I did not buzz him back, he just kept talking on the intercom. I told the cell mate next to me about what he was doing. He told me not to be a snitch and things would get better. Maxwell left the bright lights on in my cell all night. I knew that I had to get out of this hell because I could not call my lawyer and I was being refused to my daily 15 minutes of collect calls for help. I bite off my shampoo bottle and started to cut my wrists North to South. I knew if one was serious about suicide that this was the right way to leave behind this oppression. I needed out of the unit and I took a chance that my life would not end. I cut from 10pm until 9am. It already had been 48 hours of not being let out of my cell. The next morning was Thanksgiving and guardsmen Simpson let "Lefty" out first for his walk even though Lefty had been abusing me. I asked Lefty to call my family and demand that they make a 50,000 dollar bail to get me out of this hell. Lefty told me that my family said that I was guilty and that I had to do my time. That my dog was dead. This was all a lie, but I could not get to the phone and call myself.
I screamed out with horror and tried to finish the job on my wrists. The plastic was not sharp so I had to dig it in deep to get blood. I had written a note to nurse Francine about being suicidal, but this was two days ago. I cut deeper and deeper until blood came out of my wrists.
I paged medical but no answer. The guards figured out what I was doing and guardsmen Simpson, who I respect, pleaded for me to stop. I could have cut further and forced them to come and my cell to get me out. Instead I listened to Simpson, turned around in the cell and put my cut hands through the gate to be handcuffed. Four male guards escorted me out of the unit, three of them were present during my initial intake. The guards names were HASE, Simpson and the biggest abuser named Jameson. The female guard who showed up was Tracy Owens who was going to do my strip search. I pleaded to Simpson that I filed a complaint with Sargent Gates on my second day in jail against Gaurdswomen Owens who grabbed my breast and lifted me upon on a table via using my cuffed hands behind my back to lift me. I begged like a pig for them to stop. I yelled that they cut my wrists and a nurse came out for inspection. Then they threw me into a cell with my collarbone hitting the concrete first then the rest of my body. I flinched when Owens grabbed my breast so I guess this justified their behavior. They said I kicked during the search but they took off my shoes and I did not touch anyone.
I told Simpson, that he could find another female in the building to do the strip search. He ignored me, after being threatened again with another Tasser beam, I bent over to the guard who lied and put me in the hole.
The nurses asked me what was the first thing I was going to do out of jail, I told them that I was going to sue them. Thanks for the good time. I am coming for you. Thanks to nurse Francine, I have my dog back!
I Still Rise. By Dr. Maya Angelou
Words of 17th century Moilere
Come let’s forget the follies of our times
And pardon mankind of its petty crimes
Let’s have an end of ratings and railings
And show some lienancy to human failings
This world requires a pliant rectitude
Too stern a virtue makes one stiff and rude
Good sense views all extremes and destinations
And bids us to be noble in moderation
The rigid virtues of the ancient days
Are not for us, they jar
With our ways
And ask of us too lofty a perfection
Wise men accept their times without objections
And there is no greater folly, if you ask me,
Then try to change society.
Like you, I see each day a hundred and one unhandsome deeds
That might be better done
I take men as they are,
Or let them be,
And teach my soul to bear
But still, for all the
Faults that meet my view
I’m never known to storm and rave like you.
इ still rise, I will not apologize for anything!
His name is Cody and he is only 15 years old. He is sitting in a chair in the front of my class. He is also always busy randomly moving around or admiring his new sneaks. It is hard to get his attention without a treat or a prize for "good" behavior. My class always had a prize at the end which made class fun. He is a bright student and a really good athlete. He is adored by his peers and stands out with his charming personality. I remember him as a fast runner who loved to play football.
He came to my house and asked me to help him out. I was no longer a teacher at that school, I knew that they broke fundamental educational rules.
He got kicked out of school for throwing dirt
at another student. They gave a behavior plan
that stated that Cody must keep his hands to himself
at all times.
So, a month later, he threw dirt. They kicked him out of school.
This was his ending, to the many attempts of those teachers who simply hated him,
for being loved by his peers and not kissing up to the mean teachers
Hands to himself was not a "measurable goal" that Cody could reach
a demand without a teach
Your out, "overactive boy"
Even though he was legally labeled special ed
The school made sure the parents signed off
their legal rights so
no laws could protect him and his disability did not fit
their purposes of cruelty and judgement
Compassion: Not for the kids
Staff comes first
this philosophy must be reversed
A poor principal
who did not have an educational credit in her hat
Made decisions on kids lives
that were seen as expendable
He came to me crying that he lost his eighth grade
graduation. I said, no worry, no fuss, I get you back to school
in a rush.
Their was only a month of school left and the clock was ticking for him to may it back
I called everyone like a fool
They told me to call this and that number
The goose chase of all goose chases
They could not get involved even though it
A private school funded by
I advocated and called the state and every agency.
I told Cody to go back to his school before he went to
A week had passed and I had not heard any news of my phone calls
I was in despair
I knew Cody was living with another kid at school
His father was in a mental hospital
His mother was not in the picture
I new his life was hell and his education was all
that he got
Another week passed
And I heard a knock on my door
It was Cody saying thanks for getting me back in school
They had to take me back because I had paperwork that
could be attacked
He graduated from Middle School where Special Ed kids
Get weeded out before they reach high school
Two years later I heard that the boy that could run like the wind was shot in the back. His friends say that he does not run very much anymore. I want to tell him that this is not your first experience with a shot in your back. Keep fighting for your life Cody, Run Cody Run, run for your life. You can do it Cody, Run.
I still rise, I will not apologize for anything!
Not a Good Queer
MA @ PSU
"Reprinted with Permission from ICTLEP, the International Conference on Transgender Law and Employment Policy, PO Drawer 1010, Cooperstown, NY 13326, 607-547-4118, e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org, America On Line Keyword ICTLEP, web page www.abmall.com/ictlep". "Index" of transgender legal articles from five years of annual conferences available on AOL keyword and web page.
What does 'Transgendered' Mean?
A 'transgendered' person is someone whose gender identity or expression differs from conventional expectations of masculinity or femininity. For most people, there is no conflict or incongruity between their physical sex and their internal psychological identification as male or female. For transgendered people, however, their gender identity is in conflict with their physical sex, and thus their gender expression or physical characteristics may differ from their sex as assigned at birth. Although transgendered people have been part of every culture and society in recorded human history, they have only recently been the focus of medical science. There is a broad consensus among medical researchers that transgenderism is rooted in complex biological factors that are fixed at birth. This research confirms what transgendered people know and experience on a much more personal basis: being transgendered is not a choice nor a "lifestyle," but a difficult, uninvited challenge.
Who are Transgendered People?
Transgendered persons include pre-operative and post-operative transsexuals, transgenderists (persons living full-time in a gender other than their birth sex with no desire to pursue surgery); transvestites (preferred term: crossdressers, those whose gender expression occasionally differs from their birth sex); "mannish" or "passing" women, whose gender expression is masculine and who are often assumed to be lesbians, although this is not necessarily the case; "feminine" men who are often assumed to be homosexual, although they are just as often heterosexual; and intersexed persons, whose sex was arbitrarily assigned after birth and who often manifest physical characteristics, expression or identity that differs from the sex assigned without their consent.
Are Transgendered People Gay?
Most people do not understand that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different aspects of human sexuality. Gender identity involves a person's internal sense of being male or female, whereas sexual orientation involves those to whom one is attracted. Transgendered people have the same range of sexual orientations as non-transgendered people: most are heterosexual, and a smaller percentage are homosexual or bisexual. Despite this reality, transgendered people are almost universally perceived to be homosexual simply because of their appearance, which is often that of a masculine woman or a feminine man. Because this perception is so pervasive, transgendered persons are particularly subject to targeting by people who are obsessed with gay and lesbian stereotypes, and often cannot escape such targeting by adopting a "straight" appearance.
How are Transgendered People Discriminated Against?
------------National Journal of Sexual Orientation Law, Vol. 3, Issue 1 ------------ ---------------------------------END PAGE 1---------------------------------------
Denial of an opportunity to make a living is the single most damaging and pervasive form of discrimination against transgendered people. Even more systematically than lesbians, gay men, and bisexual people, transgendered people are routinely targeted for work place discrimination and almost universally unprotected under existing laws. There are few transgendered people who not have experienced loss of employment, denial of employment, or underemployment solely because of their transgendered status. For transsexual people in particular, initiating the process of gender transition frequently means permanent loss of a profession or career. In addition to the impact on individual transgendered people and their families, this discrimination has a tremendous social and financial cost. Because so many transgendered people are excluded from employment, transgendered people are disproportionately driven into poverty and/or unwanted dependence on public assistance. Transgendered people also confront many related forms of
discrimination, including denial of basic civil rights and protections in housing, public accommodations, and health care. Transgendered people are also frequent targets of hate crimes: verbal threats, hate mail, harassing telephone calls, and acts of physical and sexual violence committed by the same persons who target lesbian, gay, and bisexual people.
According to Wilchins (2004), who writes about rethinking race: race may be whatever the dominant culture says it needs to be (p. 112). Basically, race is a social construction that is manipulated at different times in history and is politically controlled by the dominant population. There were countless legislative polices discriminating against African Americans that mirror nonheterosexual legislation. The history of African American discrimination in the institution of marriage and military service is comparable to nonheterosexuals today. There were many bans on African Americans marrying white people and a long history of segregation in the military. Examples of heterosexism, or racist, behavior include an attempt to change the Constitution of the
NAGQ's hero is Margret Cho who states, "that she is going to get shot by the Christian Right". She also states, "that Satanists even think Christians are cruel".
I will not apologize for anything!
Portland Police's "Good" and "Bad" CopThe problem is, it only takes one bad cop to put you in jail. This photo was taken when tenant in room 207, Laura Fornillee called the police about and attempted assault of a women named Terry Elaine Sharpe, Glenda Meyers, and Theresa. Of course, the Rose tenants also called the police which is why things became so wrong so fast. Terry Sharpe and others were never charged on that September day. It is no secret that Glenda Jean Meyers convicted drug dealer who was able to sob on the shoulder of the "bad" cop above. He helped her with information about me so she could obtain a stalking order on me in which NAGQ lived only two feet from her door.
Was Glenda's Friend!
NAGQ was very helpful to this women neighbor for months by taking care of her when she was sick and when she hurt her back. Also NAGQ listened to her whole life story including the impending death of her sister who had cancer. NAGQ lived peacefully with this women until she became the new drug dealer in the building. The old drug dealer named Kim Swegeringer,retired from the position, was in the hospital so Glenda took over her new job responsibilities which included taking Oregon food cards and turning them into cash for residents to buy drugs. Their is about twenty-people involved in this fraud of food stamps who gave thier name to me when they wrote a 8 page document full of false documentation to the police, Portland's Housing authority, Reach CDC, and child protective services. Not to mention a website dedicated to hate of NAGQ which is filled with homophobia.
So the bad cop made sure he arrested me eventhough NAGQ was able to get a contact order on Glenda Meyers. How the judge provided this contact order in the first place is another story and an example of misuse of the legal system that is suppose to protect people which was used to harass NAGQ. Glenda called the police for violating the contact order at least 8 times which included passing me in the building while NAGQ was eating spaghetti. To say it was abusive would be an understatement. The good cop above was smart enough to know that even the lynch mob of a twenty was as he would say, "the majority is not always right". He understood what was happening but this message did not get to the whole department. NAGQ gave the southeast precinct a copy of a BOLI complaint that included a statement from the state of Oregon that NAGQ was living in a "hostile environment". NAGQ also provided two letters from other tenants citing a homophobic gang like of behavior of tenats that included them making up false incidents. NAGQ also called Community Policing around 12 times but still could not get any help even though I was able to speak to officer Picket and had spoken to officer Fulitano.
On Friday November 9at approximately at 9am, NAGQ called the police for Glenda Meyers bumping and telling me to fuck off. Dispatch said that it could not come out to help due to two residents having a stalking order in the same building was not enforceable. I called the police again about tenant Bren Athens attempted assault. The bad cop came out and even though he was showed a video of my attack, he still did not press charges. On his way out of the building, I did see him talk to Glenda Meyers where he told her to call him personally to arrest NAGQ of violation of stalking order. I video taped him that has the date and the time on the camera, I knew that he, the bad cop, was after me and it was only a matter of time when this was going to happen.
On November 12th at approximately 9am, Glenda Meyers called the police again when I told her to walk in the opposite direction when she approached me. When the police came,I told Lowry, please arrest me, I am tired of this whole thing, please..... I tried to give my camera which had my evidence to another tenant. He would not allow this is when he threw my face against the wall and handcuffed. As he was handcuffing, another officer walked from behind and pulled my finger back as he was pressing my knuckle. I screamed that he was hurting me but he kept on squeezing. I screamed about my dog being locked in my room to a Reach employee who witnessed the whole police attack on the front steps at the Rose.